


Vulcan Science Academy Applicants (Admittance REFUSED)

by paburke



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Criminal Minds, Firefly, Iron Man (Movies), Leverage, Sherlock (TV), Star Trek, Stargate SG-1, Supernatural, The Pretender
Genre: 10 Drabbles, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 12:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2025492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paburke/pseuds/paburke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary:  No human has ever met all of the standards to attend the Vulcan Science Academy.  The Review Board refused the following applications for a variety of reasons:</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vulcan Science Academy Applicants (Admittance REFUSED)

**Vulcan Science Academy Applicants (Admittance REFUSED)**

No human has ever met all of the standards to attend the Vulcan Science Academy. The Review Board refused the following applications for a variety of reasons:

1.) River Tam-

“Too young.”

“She earned the highest grade of the entrance exam by this year’s cohort. Surpassing all Vulcans.”

“She is a child. We are a not equipped for children.”

“Her brother has been apprenticed to a nearby Vulcan physician. He will have custody and will raise her. We would merely teach her.”

“She cannot have the maturity for this. Blue Sun Academy is more suited to her needs. Let her attend there.”

“Perhaps when she is of age, then.”

“No Blue Sun Academy graduate has ever applied to the Vulcan Science Academy. She is unlikely to be the first.”

“Curious.”

 

2.) Tony Stark-

“Impressive grasp of all of the sciences. His experiments in artificial intelligence and robotics might surpass our instructors.”

“Did you read the interviewer’s note? She abstaining from commenting on his mental state because she had sexual relations with the applicant.”

“How did a human tempt a Vulcan?”

“Stark does have a reputation as a seducer.”

“Vulcans cannot be seduced.”

“This one was.”

“Unacceptable behavior of both parties. Neither belong at the Academy. Remove her from her post.”

“Ms. Potts has already tendered her resignation.”

“Accepted due to her dereliction of duty.”

“Mr. Stark has hired her as his personal assistant.”

 

3.) Bruce Wayne- 

“He failed the exam.”

“No, he did the exact opposite of what was required. His results are impossible without knowing the correct answers.”

“Why would a human subject themselves to the rigors of study so exhaustively to fail?”

“Illogical human; merely evidence he does not appreciate the value of knowledge.”

 

4.) Dean Winchester-

“He did not take the entrance exam. Why is he included?”

“He found and fixed an Academy building electrical… problem of the -in his vernacular- ghost.”

“Ghosts are a human fairy tale.”

“The microbiology building no longer is experiencing flickers and cold spots.”

“Coincidence not causation. No test, no acceptance.” 

 

5.) Jarod- 

“Flawless interview. The interviewer checked his DNA to ensure that he was not part Vulcan.”

“His scores are in the top tenth percentile. He would be an excellent addition to the Vulcan Academy. We should contact him for an interview.”

“No human is as logical as a Vulcan, something must be wrong in the screening.”

“We will investigate during his second interview. His race is not enough to deny him entrance.”

“I have contacted Earth. Jarod Armstrong does not exist. They have no known human matching the parameters of the one who passed the test. He forfeits his entrance admittance.”

 

6.) Nathan Ford- 

“Excellent scores, older and mature. No family to distract him.”

“Too isolated, perhaps? A human will need support to conclude their studies.”

“He lists a long term relationship with the Earth Ambassador Deveraux and her team.”

“He led that team. I read his intergalactic treaties and compromises. Faultless use of logic and an enviable ability to get non-logical beings to hold to his terms.”

“What is this addendum? He’s wanted for questioning in the unauthorized relocation of one of Admiral Archer’s prize beagles.”

“I see no record of a crime.”

“A hint of a crime is unacceptable for the Academy.”

 

7.) Spencer Reid-

“High scores and an interesting interview. He and the interviewer covered a great range of topics. He is possibly the best-rounded applicant this year.”

“He has spent years wasting his intellect chasing criminals.”

“Now he has experience and maturity to commit to the advance studies of the Vulcan Academy.”

“It is unlikely he would have an opportunity to complete a full course of study. His genetic heritage will render him frail of mind in a few years.”

“The probabilities of that occurring are thirty-two percent.” 

“It is illogical to waste an Academy student position on him. We are not illogical.”

 

8.) Samantha Carter-

“The first interview was within the acceptable range. Her scores are high. She has been pioneering alternate routes of space travel with admirable successes. Every logical reason to contact her for a second interview.”

“Impossible. She volunteered for an extended tour of duty for Starfleet. Something called Project Bluebook. The humans are not sharing the particulars at this time. She will not be available to attend the Academy for a year.”

“Nothing is more important than the advancement of studies accomplished here. Obviously, she is impatient and unable to properly prioritize. She is not a good candidate for the Academy.”

 

9.) Sherlock Homes – 

“Superb exam scores. The interviewer was impressed with his grasp of logic. He was able to arrive at correct conclusions by observing minute clues most would miss.”

“Immediately prior to the exam, he was released from a facility that cleansed him from various illegal substances.”

“Ignoring the substance abuse, he is not appropriate for the Vulcan Academy.”

“Why?”

“He has withdrawn his application because he is having too much fun solving crimes with his new friend. He considers sleuthing a laudable use of his time and logic.”

“He had chosen entertainment over academia. Obviously the interviewer overestimated this human’s logic.” 

 

10.) James Moriarty- 

“Exceptional scores and above adequate interview.”

“Interesting. He withdrew his application within hours of Mr. Holmes. Reason not supplied.”

“He is academically well-matched to Mr. Holmes, perhaps the friend in question?”

“Pointless supposition without any factual basis.”

“Rather propitious that he withdrew. I can find no reason to refuse his entrance.”

“I am assured that even the esteemed Mr. Moriarty belongs elsewhere. Yet another year without a human meeting the high standards of the Vulcan Science Academy. Colleagues, we will meet one Earth-week after the next cohort of applicants complete their exams and interviews to discuss any non-Vulcans that apply.”

*


End file.
